Rebecca’s Frosh Questionnaire

Rebecca Rosenblum posted this questionnaire on her blog, and, well, refer to question 20.

1. What did you do on your last birthday? I can’t remember that far back. Nothing exciting. Went out for dinner someplace.

2. Name something awesome about you that you’ve never been able to market properly. I can explain jump and drift in armoured gunnery. Not just what they are, but why they happen.

3. What book do you have to resist trying to force other people to read? I’m going to resist mentioning it, but you can find it wherever fine books are sold.

4. How good a swimmer are you? Not incompetent, but unlikely ever to win any races. Unless I race eight-year-olds. I can pretty much kick their asses.

5. Ideal pet? If I don’t put “Welsh Springer Spaniel” here, Sadie will bite me.

6. If you don’t have to compromise with other diners or pay for extra toppings, what goes on the pizza? I never compromise with other diners. Let the whiners pick off those olives.

7. Can you, in your own estimation but also the viewpoint of the real world, sing? Those who witnessed my recent duet with Ray Robertson on “Your Cheatin’ Heart” may dispute this – Moody Food, it was not – but yes.

8. What are you wearing right now? Is this the prelude to something? I don’t do that on the Internet.

9. When, in your opinion, is it appropriate to chew gum? Never, unless (a) your name is MacGyver and (b) you have an imminent need to construct a nuclear reactor, and no other adhesives are available.

10. What book did you read as a teen that made you realize how smart and misunderstood and *deep* you are? L’etranger. I was much older then; I’m younger than that now.

11. What magazine would you never buy yourself but always sort of hope is in the stack at the doctor’s office? Who’s Who in Canadian Purebred Swine. I understand they ran a compelling profile of Conrad Black.

12. Can you bake a pie? Yes, of course. Probability that it will be edible? Low.

13. Who lives next door to you? What is your relationship like? That’s a good question, and I really should look into it right away. In other words, I live in the suburbs.

14. What is the easiest way for you to learn a new skill? Hands on.

15. What is that book you keep meaning to read and haven’t, and feel bad about every time it comes up in conversation? That book written by whoever I happen to be talking to at the time. What was it called? I’m sure it was good.

16. What are you listening to right now? Bob Dylan, “With God on our Side,” 19 October 1988, New York City. He mangles the lyrics.

17. Do you remember what you wore on the first day of high school? If so, what? If not, substitute some other important day when you remember what you wore. I can’t remember what I wore last week, much less on my first day of high school. I wore a tux for my wedding, though. That one’s easy.

18. What are you doing tonight? Is this the followup to question 8? I’m going over proofs for a magazine.

19. What’s the last thing you ate? Pizza, as it happens. Refer to 6, above.

20. Why did you do this questionnaire? Because it’s the end of a long, tough two weeks.

(And thanks, Rebecca & Mark, for coming to my launch this week. I wish we’d had time to chat.)