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Lost continues to suck

February 17, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

… the earth continues to spin on its axis, kids continue to believe they know everything, and the almighty continues to look down on his idiot children in a state of baffled melancholy. In a world where technology renders itself obsolete minute by minute, it’s comforting to discover these touchstones. Some truths are eternal.

The degree to which Lost continues to suck is easily demonstrated by the fact that my post on that subject — a post entirely parenthetical to the actual interests of this blog — continues to be my top attractor of traffic, and the fact that said traffic peaks on Wednesdays, following each episode.

I’m not sure how I should feel about this. Perhaps, if you buy a copy of my novel this fall, Lost will suck less? I’m willing to believe that if you are. But enough with the shameless plugs.

Why does Lost suck? Lost sucks because it has become evident, and grows increasingly so, that they are making it up as they go along. Lost sucks because the only way they can cut their way out of the plot tangles they’ve created is to add further tangles. Lost sucks because they killed so many interesting characters, and then tried to sustain the show using Sawyer, Jack, and Kate. Lost sucks because we’ve tumbled to their game and know full well that they don’t dare knock off one of those three. Lost sucks because that dramatic tension is gone.

Who is that frigging kid in the jungle, you ask? I ask, why should I care? This kid is not a character; he’s a plot device. What is the connection between those numbers and those characters, you ask? I ask, is this not simply a cheesy way to explain something that they, themselves, really don’t know? What will happen next, you ask? I ask, where did I put my fingernail clippers? I can’t find them anywhere.

Lost sucks because they keep milking their cash cow with no respect for what the cow must eat to produce milk. Lost sucks, above all, because the producers have lost sight of the very things that made it work in the first place: episodes grounded in their characters’ struggle for redemption.  Lost sucks because, after viewing any given episode, reasons for giving a shit about the characters themselves will no longer be foremost in your mind.

It’s all about the big mystery now, and as far as mysteries go, I’m more compelled by those missing fingernail clippers.

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